Reflections on a Grandmother

Reflections on Grandma Minnesota - which was how our children delineated between Rindy's Mom Bettie and my mom June.. I asked the kids to share their thoughts and determined that posting them might allow them, the memories to live longer. (if you want to edit let me know)

Mackey

One of my favorite memories of grandma is from when I was little like maybe ages 6-10. For some reason I'd be at grandma's for an extended period of time in the evening. No memory of anyone else being there so I guess you guys abandoned me for long periods of time as a child or something. Anyways, at these long nights grandma taught me how to play solitaire. First we started with just normal solitaire but each time this happened she changed what version of solitaire we'd play to make it a little harder. In retrospect, considering she's a gamer she was probably cheating and changing the rules but my mind didn't really gather that and it was still fun.

Most nights we watched the news but sometimes we'd watch Disney channel if I could build up the courage to ask to change the channel to 44. But since we mostly watched the news we saw a lot of weird stuff. I remember one night when something came on and the reporter mentioned the word "nude". I had to ask grandma what it meant and she explained it to me. And for some reason that's the night of solitaire I remember the most and it's not like I frequently forget the definition of nude so I don't know what my subconscious is trying to tell me but whatever.

Mostly though we talked about whatever tragedies my young soul was going through at the time. Probably wasn't that deep, but she listened to me nonetheless. Sometimes I'd ask her about her life and she'd tell me stories. My favorite story she'd tell was about the time she burned her hands cooking with her sister. I remember seeing the marks on her hands that were still there years later and staring in wonder. Anyways, it's still one of my favorite stories. 

Parker

For me it is just how much I connect with grandma when it comes to our humor and 
how we see the world. My favorite memories are the classic car rides to lunch or 
dinner where we would just laugh with each other and I turned her "ghetto" once. 
My most favorite memory was how she embraces my personality. Greatest example 
is her and I dancing in the kitchen. She is always checking to make sure that 
everyone had what they needed. Even when we moved she would bring home leftovers 
for me. Whenever we were there she would always offer food or anything. She is 
the perfect example of service, charity, and of course the extreme competitive 
gene that we all have. 

I LOVE GMA!!!

Brigham

I've thought about spending summer days in the pool, stopping by their home all the time during high school - card games, orange slices, and ginger ale - calling grandma every day while walking home from college, quick rushed trips from Chicago up to WI up to MN and back every time I was in the Midwest for longer than a week. 

I thought of how no matter which of the three houses of theirs I visited, they were always home to me. I always felt comfortable to take off shoes, give a hug, open the fridge, and flop on the couch.

She has been one of my best friends. Always asking about my dating life, yet in a way that never ever made me uncomfortable. Just felt loved, thought of, and dreamed over.

Today I wondered about how after she dies, how she will see Grandpa, Jodean, her parents, siblings, and friends and be so happy. Then, after while they'll give her an update on all of her children and grandchildren. When she gets to me, I pictured her going, "He's working for who?! doing what?! where?!" And then being told who my wife would be, approving of her, and then rolling up her sleeves and saying, "allright, you three grandparents have had your time to hook him up, now let's all four do this together, it's about time!"

Blair

Favorite memories....I'm just gonna start writing and see where it goes

1. Most of my memories of grandma are from ages 12-18 when we (usually Dad and I) would stop by G&G's house after some activity (mutual, basketball, etc...). I don't have a great story, but I remember always feeling welcomed and at home.

2. X-mas was always a special time of year in Plymouth. Seeing grandma on Christmas day and swinging by her house was always a treat. I can still think of all the decorations and trains. I think she always loved xmas more than any other holiday.

3. I'm very glad June met June. I can still remember her disbelief that we actually named our daughter June and she thought that was silly. Kinda the same reaction with Dean's name. I think and I hope she enjoyed having someone named in her honor.

4. We spend so much time at Grandma's pool. Although, I don't think I ever saw her swim once...literally. She was always outside on the patio watching, talking, maybe even having a snack ready.

5. I remember going to brunch in Chicago with Grandma on Sunday. I loved that brunch. I loved being there with the family. And I love the example that set for family first.

Those are the top 5 that come to mind.

Humble Pride

Humble pride

Sunday, a friend of Parker's described how he perceived I should feel about Parker's labour as a missionary; Humble Pride - a very apt description. Proud of what he did, how he did it, and who he became; and intensely humble and gratefully that he had the opportunity, that he took advantage of it, that he  had presidents, leaders, missionaries, members, and non who loved him, worked with him and watched over him. And mindful of a god in heaven who was in the details.

Each of the boys served well and honorably. Their missions had much in common and all grew spectacularly. All were as unique and differed as Spain, Greece, Chicago and Paraguay do from each other . We have been fortunate to have met there ending Mission Presidents. There are few things as humbling  as learning /observing the power of your son(s). There are few things that make you more grateful than witnessing the love of adults for your child and knowing the energy and effort they willingly sacrificed and put into forming, shaping, and supporting your child's growth. There is  a strong emotion when you observe others looking at your son in adoration and witness that to them what your missionary had done was of vital importance.

I am indeed humbly proud of all my children. I am extremely grateful for the transformational power of a mission. 

The Making of A Weekend

So what makes for a good weekend:
1 part - good weather
1 part - good food (gotta love scone sunday)
1 part - national holiday
All parts - family gathered together.


Memorial Day weekend was one full of gratitude for:
- our freedoms
- those who sacrifice for our freedoms
- our country
- our blessings
- our family

Missed those many who were not with us - especially Elder Parker (but he is doing great check his blog)
But we had a delightful weekend with the many who joined in the fun.

MN BYU Connection

The Minnesota BYU was critical to me when I attended BYU and has continued to have an important influence in our kids as they have attended. Evan was a huge beneficiary of the BYU MN connection.

People

The word people conjures various trite quotes that immediately come to mind:
 "people make the world go around"
"people, people who need people are the luckiest people in the word"
"we the people"
 And those like unto them.

A trip can also be defined by the people with whom we connect. Our trip  enjoyed its share of memorable people. A highlight of the people would provide a highlight of the trip and indeed key people transform and shape an experience.

Larry - Larry received a dedicated post and caused me to reflect on the impact of people on a trip. Key people transform and shape an experience.

Melenik Forde - our first forray out in London was to meet with melenik at Nando's for a chicken snack and hot chocolate. He had served with Brigham in Greece and lives in London with his wife. He shared his views and experiences of going to university and the church.Key people transform and shape an experience.

The Beefeater - this traditional tower of London guard gave an entertaining ( a couple of actual gewgaws moments) and data loaded historic  recount.  Key people transform and shape an experience. 

Rob & Lizzie Harrop- a great couple, Rob had been in the MTC and Greece with Brigham ,and had recently married Lizzie. The two graciously gave their time, shared their stories and experiences with us as we toured the countryside. We toured Arendell, walked the boardwalk and the Lanes of Brighton, the heights of ancient Hastings, and held our breath as he navigated the back roads to the temple. Key people transform and shape an experience.

The guard at  Hastings -It was part mayday, part summer hippie festival, part Gothe convention, and part Sturgis-yes truly a blizzard melange - centering at the extremely hard to find, poorly signed ( very typical of much of England's directional / informational signage) Hastings castle. They were charging for entrance, they had closed down for the evening, they had a mess to clean up from the  baccalavelian reveling, and still he decided , because we looked innocuous, to let us enter and look around and enjoy the view and the locale.  Key people transform and shape an experience.

Sam - she was unexpected as we both stood waiting for rides at the temple. We didn't end up getting a ride from her, which would have been nice, but we each received a huge hug and where to go visit and saw her pictures from home. She clearly loves Jersey and rarely met anyone, let alone an american, who was going on holiday to jersey.  Key people transform and shape an experience.

Sam, was after all a total stranger and it would've been odd even for me to ask her for a photo

Chris, Karen and Noah - the trip just wouldn't have been the same without them. They knew Pam, who had randomly met Brigham in Provo and responded to an introductory email, to agree to take us behind the scenes as Durrell. We met them in the bat house, we went in the bat house, we had a bat with a six-foot wind span swoop within inches of my head. We learned bats. We learned conservation, we learned animal management, we learned orangutans .  Key people transform and shape an experience.

The French couple from Lyon - we met them as we left our car in the parking lot at Mont St Michael. They spoke no english, but they answered our questions, shared our jokes and complaints, and crashed the private party with us. As we walked forever, ascended the stairs, got waived into (without being required to pay admission ) the now closed abbey and we're given free drinks and finger food.  Key people transform and shape an experience.

they are on the other side of the camera

Jackie - is from northern England and runs a small remote B&B in Normandy.  Traditional home cooked French meals, country barnyard home, gracious hospitality.  Key people transform and shape an experience.

she too took the photo

Brigham - Short of traveling with Rindy as fine of a traveling companion as can be found: totally prepared, can feign comfort & confidence in any situation, a keen sense of direction and chipper disposition made for a wonderful trip. Thanks to him for all the planning, and attendance to all the detail.

People have a choice. We have a choice. We can keep to ourselves, be aloof, be withdrawn, be whatever our excuse for not interacting with others. Or we can share, open up, be honest in our discourse. Not only does it make the world a friendlier place, a more interesting place, it can make the things we do and experience become so much more than had we done them on our own.

Key people transform and shape an experience. These people did for us. 

living history with larry

When was the battle of Hastings?

Who fought?

Who won?

What were the historic implications?

The aria to, oh you remember the name of that opera don't you?
How does it go?
What was the story line?

Trying to recall that expression?
In Latin? No Greek? No Hungarian?
Needless to say Spanish, or French, or Italian, or German ?
Any of a dozen!

Or rather that obscure church history fact?
The debate over the origins of the Pearl of Great Price?
Succession in the hierarchy?
What did the pioneers actually say and do about the word of wisdom?
How does it all relate to today?

That ignores his multiple engineering and legal degrees as a patent attorney.
There is all that and so much more to Rindy's brother Larry.
Our kids all delight in him and there is never a shortage of subjects to probe, discuss and learn.
How better to start a holiday than with a visit and a stay with him?


Ever the gracious host, we enjoyed visits to the Royal Shakespeare Company production of "Written on the Heart", St Paul's cathedral, the Tower of London, Hampton Court Palace.

Walk the history, see the history, learn the history.

It's a delight to share experiences with Larry.



BEFORE then AFTER

It was a whirlwind visit.

Brigham and Evan swept up the west coast after finishing school, visiting many a relative along the way before landing here in Naperville. Brigham's visit was short, for he made a quick run up to  Minnesota, dropping off Duncan ( Blair & Julie's dog) back off in Watertown after Duncan's brief visit. ( All true friends make a pilgrimage to Naperville and so did Duncan sans parents).

Brigham left BYU long enough to sport his fabulous red barbe,

which he also left in Naperville.














It was brief but it was a great visit here with Brigham. He can be found this summer in DC hanging out at the Pentagon.

Debonaire

Another perk of the weekend was the visit of the two western debonaire sons from BYU. We had a wonderful visit. Sunday we were able to participate with the extended Rentmeister family in the blessing of Dean; then a drive in lovely Wisconsin where I dropped the boys of at an intimate wo-gate airport.

Often I read Brigham's blog and find motivation to listen to a song, watch a video or movie and often read a book. This morning I dropped by the library and picked up three short stories by Tolstoy: Where Love is, There God is Also, The Three Hermits, and What Men Live By.

Tolstoy is a rich and rewarding read whether it is his novels, or his short stories that illuminate a christian weakness that many a christian do not practice what they preach. These three stories stir the soul and prick the conscience and cause one to reflect and ask do I truly love my neighbor ( in the broad biblical sense of neighbor) and do I truly commune with God.

The first story is the most retold and familiar, though Tolstoy is not always attributed as the author, the third Brigham reviewed, so a few thoughts on the middle of the three - the hermits. Two thoughts actually. First that it is true that God honors the heart yielded to Him , not mere ritual and thus sanctifies the yielded heart regardless of circumstances or outward appearances. And secondly, it is far too easy, and might I say frequent, to judge another's religious habits from the outside and prescribe from that outsider's point of view, a solution even though it is not our stewardship to intercede or preach or correct; and oft times is misguided.

Recommended reading for a quick lift.