Hunt Gather Parent By michaeleen doubler

 Hunt Gather Parent 

What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans

By Michaeleen Doucleff

Doucleff  with her three-year-old daughter in tow set out to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania

Helpfulness

 

The creation of the nuclear family remodeled how we parent,but also how we learn to parent  - the shrinking down of the nuclear family, - individualism reigns supreme,

Acomedido. -paying attention then acting

How to train:

1.Let them practice

• The task should be real and make a contribution
• The task should be doable
• Never force a task
• Grant unto child a membership card - a sense of belonging to the family 
• Awareness of interdependence and connections 

2. Model 

  Family membership day

20-20-20

Minutes - feet away - silence 

Reconsider the child’s role in the family

3 acknowledge -the foundation for the parent child relationship:

T-togetherness 

E-encouragement 

A-autonomy 

M-minimal interference

Intrinsic motivation makes a person dance in the living room at night when no one is watching

Praise can undermine motivation instead try fluid collaboration 

1 sense of connectedness

2 autonomy my making a decision for themselves

1. Competency

Expect children to misbehave

Stop arguing with small children

(Disagreeing is ok - being disagreeable is not)

Don’t over stimulate children 

 Parenting tools

• parent with calmness
• Parent with touch (toss, physicality)
• Parent with awe - take a child outside
• Ignore it

Everyday tools

-learn the look

• explain natural consequences of actions
• Employ questions
• Responsibility 
• Action not words
• Master ignoring 
• Discipline through practice: stories  drama 

Not demanding nor bossy

Autonomy

Share : practice. -  modeling. - acknowledge 

Invisible safety net

Limit how often you ‘direct’ and/or ‘command’

Stop speaking for your child

Minimal interference

Team parenting

   Team

   Encourage

   Autonomy 

   Minimize interference 

Sleep - don’t fight over it- let child self regulate

   Model acknowledge practice