As to marriage

Happy anniversary to my best friend, companion and partner. - LaRinda Elaine .

its been a wild, exotic, and glorious run.
And eternity might just not be long enough.

Marriage, watch and learn by elder whitney clayton

The Promises of the Lord are extended to all those who follow the pattern of life that builds happy, holy marriage relationships.

One evening several years ago, my wife and I were visiting the home of one of our sons and his wife and children for dinner. It was a typical event for a family with small children: there was much noise and even more fun. Shortly after dinner our four-year-old granddaughter, Anna, and I were still sitting at the table. Realizing that she had my full attention, she stood up straight on a bench and fixed her eyes on me. When she was sure that I was looking at her, she solemnly ordered me to “watch and learn.” She then danced and sang a song for me.

Anna’s instruction to “watch and learn” was wisdom from the mouth of a babe. We can learn so much by watching and then considering what we have seen and felt. In that spirit, let me share with you a few principles I have observed by watching and learning from wonderful, faithful marriages. These principles build strong, satisfying marriages that are compatible with heavenly principles. I invite you to watch and learn with me.

First, I have observed that in the happiest marriages both the husband and wife consider their relationship to be a pearl beyond price, a treasure of infinite worth. They both leave their fathers and mothers and set out together to build a marriage that will prosper for eternity. They understand that they walk a divinely ordained path. They know that no other relationship of any kind can bring as much joy, generate as much good, or produce as much personal refinement. Watch and learn: the best marriage partners regard their marriages as priceless.

Next, faith. Successful eternal marriages are built on the foundation of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and adherence to His teachings.¹ I have observed that couples who have made their marriages priceless practice the patterns of faith: they attend sacrament and other meetings every week, hold family home evening, pray and study the scriptures together and as individuals, and pay an honest tithing. Their mutual quest is to be obedient and good. They do not consider the commandments to be a buffet from which they can pick and choose only the most appealing offerings.

Faith is the foundation of every virtue that strengthens marriage. Strengthening faith strengthens marriage. Faith grows as we keep the commandments, and so do the harmony and joy in marriage. Thus, keeping the commandments is fundamental to establishing strong eternal marriages. Watch and learn: faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation of happy eternal marriages.

Third, repentance. I have learned that happy marriages rely on the gift of repentance. It is an essential element in every good marital relationship. Spouses who regularly conduct honest self-examination and promptly take needed steps to repent and improve experience a healing balm in their marriages. Repentance helps restore and maintain harmony and peace.

Humility is the essence of repentance. Humility is selfless, not selfish. It doesn’t demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly² and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart.³ Experiencing the mighty change of heart causes us to treat others, especially our spouses, with meekness.⁴ Humility means that both husbands and wives seek to bless, help, and lift each other, putting the other first in every decision. Watch and learn: repentance and humility build happy marriages.

Fourth, respect. I have observed that in wonderful, happy marriages, husbands and wives treat each other as equal partners. Practices from any place or any time in which husbands have dominated wives or treated them in any way as second-class partners in marriage are not in keeping with divine law and should be replaced by correct principles and patterns of behavior.

Husbands and wives in great marriages make decisions unanimously, with each of them acting as a full participant and entitled to an equal voice and vote.⁵ They focus first on the home and on helping each other with their shared responsibilities.⁶ Their marriages are based on cooperation, not negotiation. Their dinner hour and the family time that follows become the center of their day and the object of their best efforts. They turn off electronics and forgo personal entertainment in order to help with household duties. To the extent possible, they read with their children every night and both participate in putting the little ones to bed. They retire to their bed together. As their duties and circumstances permit, husbands and wives work side by side in doing the most important work there is—the work we do in our own homes.

Where there is respect, there is also transparency, which is a key element of happy marriages. There are no secrets about relevant matters in marriages based on mutual respect and transparency. Husbands and wives make all decisions about finances together, and both have access to all information.

Loyalty is a form of respect. Prophets teach that successful marriage partners are “fiercely loyal” to each other.⁷ They keep their social media use fully worthy in every way. They permit themselves no secret Internet experiences. They freely share with each other their social network passwords. They do not look at the virtual profiles of anyone in any way that might betray the sacred trust of their spouse. They never do or say anything that approaches the appearance of impropriety, either virtually or physically. Watch and learn: terrific marriages are completely respectful, transparent, and loyal.

Fifth, love. The happiest marriages I have seen radiate obedience to one of the happiest commandments—that we “live together in love.”⁸ Speaking to husbands, the Lord commanded, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.”⁹ A Church handbook teaches: “The word cleave means to be completely devoted and faithful to someone. Married couples cleave to God and one another by serving and loving each other and by keeping covenants in complete fidelity to one another and to God.” Both the husband and wife “leave behind their single life and establish their marriage as [their] first priority. … They allow no other person or interest to have greater priority … than keeping the covenants they have made with God and each other.”¹⁰ Watch and learn: successful couples love each other with complete devotion.

There are those whose marriages are not as happy as they would wish, as well as those who have never married, are divorced, are single parents, or for various reasons are not in a position to marry. These circumstances can be full of challenge and heartbreak, but they need not be eternal. To those of you in such situations who nevertheless “cheerfully do all things that lie in [your] power”¹¹ to persevere, may heaven bless you richly. Seek after the ideal of forming an eternal marriage, including by striving or preparing to be a worthy spouse. Keep the commandments, and trust the Lord and His perfect love for you. One day every promised blessing concerning marriage will be yours.¹²

One of the sweetest verses in the Book of Mormon states simply, “And they were married, and given in marriage, and were blessed according to the multitude of the promises which the Lord had made unto them.”¹³ The promises of the Lord are extended to all those who follow the pattern of life that builds happy, holy marriage relationships. Such blessings come as the delightful, predictable consequences of faithfully living the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I am grateful for my wonderful wife, Kathy, who is the love of my life.

Marriage is a gift from God to us; the quality of our marriages is a gift from us to Him. I bear testimony of the marvelous plan of our loving Heavenly Father, which provides for eternal, wondrous marriage. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

1.  
   1. See “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2010, 129.
2.  
   2. See Proverbs 15:1.
3.  
   3. See Alma 5:11–12, 26–31.
4.  
   4. See Moroni 7:43–48; 8:25–26.
5.  
   5. See Doctrine and Covenants 107:27–31.
6.  
   6. See “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” 129.
7.  
   7. See Thomas S. Monson, “Priesthood Power,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2011, 68; Gordon B. Hinckley, “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 4; Liahona, May 1999, 4.
8.  
   8. Doctrine and Covenants 42:45.
9.  
   9. Doctrine and Covenants 42:22.
10.  
    10. Handbook 2: Administering the Church (2010), 1.3.1.
11.  
    11. Doctrine and Covenants 123:17.
12.  
    12. See Handbook 2, 1.3.3.
13.  
    13. 4 Nephi 1:11.

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World Book Day

http://www.us.worldbooknight.org/

Each year on April 23rd, 25,000 passionate readers spread the love of reading by sharing free World Book Night U.S. paperbacks within their communities.  The volunteer book givers each personally hand out 20 books to light or non-readers across America. That's half a million books shared on one day!

Brigham introduced us to the concept, and so this evening found Rindy and I at the naperville train station targeting appropriate people to share the gift of reading.

Rindy handed out copies of  The Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency while I distributed 20 copies  of City of  Thieves. Neither meaningful but both enjoyable. We enjoyed being part of a global effort to encourage reading.

Behind The Beautiful Forevers

 " Katherine Boo’s Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity won the 2012 National Book Awards in nonfiction. The minutely researched, compassionately reported account of waste-pickers in an Indian slum earned praise for its “interview-based narrative in which the interviewer never appears.” 

I had seen the book on a list and checked it out and read it all without knowing it was non-fiction. Katherine Boo weaves a compelling, if not somewhat disturbing  story of Annawadi a Mumbai slum; based on three years of uncompromising reporting, a bewildering age of global change and inequality is made real. It's a world hard to imagine, difficult to understand, and impossible to forget. It describes opportunity in an unequal globalize world; and in a very real manner details the conditions that sabotage the  innate condition of moral action. Good and bad at times appear relative in this undercity life

"He wanted to be better than he was made of" - describes the aspirations of one of the main characters who aspires to be like ice is to water - transformational and more than it is

"Chronic uncertainty had helped create a nation of quick-witted creative problem solvers" - though it accurately describes the residents of Annawadi - could just as easily describe the survivors in  my office from today's economy.

"Unpredictability has a way of grinding down individual promise" - leaves individuals existing by not having anything bad happen to them.

Behind the beautiful forevers -by  Katherine boo - is a recommended read.

Flood of 2013

Parker got up first needing to be at work by 6am, Mac and Rindy getting ready for seminary, me in bed. Parker went in the basement to get milk and discovered the flood had arrived, we' d  been recipients of torrential rain, the road in front became a river and the twin sump pumps became overwhelmed. The rain came down and the water came up.

So 5:30 am became the start of a long day of- pumping and wet vac the basement, cut up and tear out the carpet, move books to high ground, move all the toys, throw out the sectional couch, and get the industrial fans drying it out. Avoiding the mold as best we can.

Service. we belong to a great ward - quickly we had the bishops wife and daughter over with a pump, the missionaries with heavy lifting and hard labor, and then the Bosell family to top of the assist. Many hands indeed make light labor. Rindy and Mac did a lion's share of all - and as always rindy's vision got it done in the best way,

The ward - multiple families in the ward got it. Several extremely worse than we. The ward ruined out in force to help. Parker and Rindy joined in and after finishing at our basement went to help others. Once again. Rindy's critical engineering skills made a significant contribution. She can Mcguiver  with the best of them.

Thankful for friends, thankful that we have some know how and some reserves. Thankful for protection. Hopefully, we will be fixed in a month or so

1,051,897.53

how many minutes are there in two years

Two years looking forward seems like an eternity.
Two years looking backward seems like a dream.

The speed of each son's mission in turn has accelerated - the first two years were relatively long compared to the subsequent missions. As such, Parker's was indeed quick and I imagine by the time Mac goes it will be a blink of an eye.

What do I like about missions:
- the blessings that come to our family
- the spirit of the work that enters our home
- the transformational nature of the experience on the missionary
- the road to conversion and life's journey that it launches the young missionary on as they hear, see, and know and do for themselves.

I am thankful for my mission and the pathway it put me on.
I am grateful for the mission of each of our boys and the pathway it put them on.
I am grateful to have Parker home again.

Jiro

I tend to find international or art or documentary films of quality only through referral. I have neither the patience nor the time to research a movie - I'm just not that big of a movie fan.

BUT

When I get a quality reference I general jump on it. The other night while orienting me to the splendor Amazon Instant Video, he showed me his queue which included Jiro Dreams of Sushi.
It just happens that last night I was not sleeping so I thought I'd follow O's advise. It's ideal for the iPad as it is in Japanese with English subtitles, however quality speakers might have enhanced the incredible score, which heightened the experience. I found the description on Amazon insightful and accurate:

"A thoughtful and elegant meditation on Work, Family, and of Perfection."

The learnings:
^ always look ahead and above yourself
^ always try to improve yourself
^ always strive to elevate your craft

Are you being too positive

negative abeMuch of Abraham Lincoln's literary genius was in his "acute understanding of the power of negation in language," reports Douglas L. Wilson in The Wall Street Journal (1/17/13). In part, this was because "dogged opposition was his lot in the major political struggles of his life," specifically his opposition to "the expansion of slavery and the destruction of the Union, a resistance which gave his negative constructions a moral focus." For example, as he once wrote: "If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong." He also made good rhetorical use of "the antithesis," in his 1858 US Senate campaign against Stephen A. Douglas, when he proclaimed: "With public sentiment, nothing can fail; without it nothing can succeed." Lincoln often used negation "to emphasize restraint -- what is not to be claimed or not to be done." Of his presidential oath, he wrote: "I could not take the office without taking the oath. Nor was it my view that I might take an oath to get power, and break the oath in using that power." His most famous use of negation, ironically, was in the affirmative, in the Gettysburg Address: "We can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground." And: "The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here." And most of all, "that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." In his last great speech, the Second Inaugural, Lincoln powerfully expressed a positive through a negative in four famous words: "With malice toward none."  Hope you enjoyed that interesting snippet I crossed today

The Secret Scriptures

I was perusing  a list of recommended books from a journal in England and crossed The Secret scripture by Sebastian Barry, I didn't read a review , I simply picked it up at the library and read it. Usually such indiscriminate reading turns out poorly, but this had several bright moments. It is an historic novel of sorts, covering 100 years of Irish history revealing the weird and dramatic politics of religion, Great Britain'ness, mental illness and aging; all by themselves compelling subjects and as a bouillabaisse a flavorful experience. "Casting doubt upon the reliability of human perceptions and, indeed, the very nature of truth, it also upholds the possibilities of dignity and redemption." So a said one review - it s good read

The story line was a bramble  but the writing was a delight including :

• The terror and hurt in my story happened because when I was young I thought others were then authors of my fortune or misfortune
• But Fr Gaunt was so clipped and trimmed he had no antennae at all for grief
• He was like a singer who knows the words and can sing, but cannot sing the song as conceived in the heart of the composer
• We have neglected the tiny sentences of life and now the big ones are beyond our reach
• ...  My mother's wits were now in the attic of her head which had neither door nor stair, or at least none that I could find
• Little sins of omission that loom large now
• The Arabs say that everything is already written in the book of life, our job is merely to fulfill the narrative already there, invisible, unknown
• It is always worth itemizing happiness, there is always so much of the other thing in life, you had better put down the markers for happiness while you can.
• There has never been a person in an old person's home that hasn't looked dubiously at the other inhabitants. They are the old ones, they are the club no one wants to join.but we are never old to ourselves. That is because at the close of the day the ship we sail in is the soul not the body.
• ... Time passing is just a trick, a convenience. Everything is always there, still unfolding, still happening. The past, the present, the future, in the noggin eternally, like brushes, combs and ribbons in a handbag
• ... Who was obviously sane to such a degree it makes sanity almost undesirable 

I appreciate phraseology that ports me somewhere and becomes the nugget of a new thought or moment to ponder. I then craft the story I want to hear more than the story perhaps intended by the author.

A very helpful Venn diagram

http://www.flickr.com/photos/buriednexttoyou/5095255302/


I'm having problems posting images so I'm just good for links these days.
This is a visual after the zuckerman sister got snagged by the Facebook privacy settings

Steal like an artist

A great little book that brigham introduced me to. a few kernels that reminded me to: be curious, have passion, and continue to be an agent of change and ideas.

 Steal like an artist    
By -Austin kleon

Eccles. 1:9  - there is nothing new under the sun

"What is originality ? Undetected plagiarism" wm Inge

You are a mash up of what you chose to let into your life

You're only as good as the ideas you surround yourself with

* Steal from anywhere that speaks to your soul

Climb the idea tree - look to the sources of those who inspired an idea, then push back to their sources, and so on - read bibliographies

Whether you're in school or not its always your job to get an education

Google everything - before you ask a question;
Either you'll get your answer or a better question

* Don't wait to know who you are to get started  - it's in the act of making things and doing our work that we figure out who we are

*You don't want to look like your heroes you want to see like them

* Write the book you want to read

* use your hands

*The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life

* Don't throw your passions away

* Do good work and share it with people

* You should wonder at the things nobody else is wondering about

* Enjoy solitude

There's only one rule I know of:you've got to be kind - Kurt Vonnegut

* The art of holding on to Money is all about saying no to modern culture. Live within your means - Do with less

* Get a calendar and log - Track best thing that happened to you all day

Dig deeper and read

Anne Lamont -  bird by bird

Lynda Barry - what it is

Mihaly csikszentmihalyl - flow